Shyness and Social Anxiety dotgo uk

Shyness And Social Anxiety Dotgo Uk-Free PDF

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I dread going to places where I may have to talk to people. Before I set off I just think I,m going to do or say something. stupid and that people will think I m an idiot No one else. seems to be like this and I really feel there is something wrong. with me The only way I can face people is if my girlfriend is. with me It,s not fair she is full of confidence, If I have to talk in a meeting I just can t cope My legs go. wobbly I flush up and I feel quite sick I feel everyone is. watching me closely I know it is silly and other people don t. seem to have the same difficulty I keep thinking afterwards that. they must feel I m not really up to the job, These are the thoughts of two people who have a problem with. shyness and social anxiety This is a surprisingly common problem. though people may not often talk about it This booklet aims to. help you to, recognise whether you may have a problems with shyness or. social anxiety, understand what is it what can cause it and what can help.
keep it going, looking at ways you can help yourself to overcome shyness or. social anxiety, Shyness and social anxiety are common problems that affect both. men and women Most of us feel shy or anxious in social situations. at some point in our lives This can be a much more serious. problem for some people however who find that their lives are. made very difficult by their problem,Do I suffer from social anxiety. In order to check whether you may be suffering from social anxiety. place a tick next to those symptoms you experience regularly. You feel a strong feeling of fear in social situations that won. You think you may act in a way that will be embarrassing in. front of others,What happens to your body, When you go into a situation with others you feel anxious and. may have some of the following feelings in your body. Heart racing and pounding,Chest feels tight or painful.
Tingling or numbness in toes and fingers,Stomach churning or butterflies. Having to go to the toilet,Feeling jumpy or restless. Tense muscles,Breathing changes,Dizziness and feeling light headed. What you think, You know that the fear is too much or unreasonable. You feel that others are thinking badly of you,You think others are judging you.
Before you go into social situations you think that things will. You think I will make a fool of myself or I will look stupid. You may think I m boring or I m strange, You may believe If I get it wrong people won t like me or If I. show I m nervous people will think I m stupid or I must not. look anxious, You have a negative picture of yourself in your mind which is. how you fear other people see you this may be flustered. foolish uninteresting weak timid etc, After you ve been in a social situation you think that was. awful I looked so stupid etc,What you do, Sometimes you go into social situations that you find difficult. but find this very distressing and become very anxious. You avoid going into social situations that you find difficult. even if this is inconvenient to yourself For example going out. to buy sandwiches rather than having to go into the busy staff. Avoid talking on the telephone, Do things to help yourself in difficult social situations such as.
rehearsing what you are going to say offering to help in social. situations so that you can keep busy talking fora short time. but then moving on to another location, Cannot relax in social situations drink more smoke more talk. quickly keep on the move, If you have ticked many of the boxes then you may be experiencing. social anxiety or shyness,What is shyness or social anxiety. People who suffer from shyness or social anxiety often believe that. other people will think badly of them or that people will be. judging them They think that they are being closely observed by. other people and they would like to give a good impression At the. same time they may fear that they are not as good as other people. and can t come up to the mark, They suffer symptoms of anxiety such as tension rapid heart beat. and light headedness when they are in social situations They may. blush or stammer or be unable to speak, Certain situations may seem to be more difficult than others.
People may feel quite at ease speaking to people they know but. feel very anxious with strangers Eating or speaking in front of. others can be, very difficult as can crowded places such as canteens pubs shops. Some people will begin to avoid difficult situations often leading to. great inconvenience loss of social life or even career prospects. Other people will find ways of avoiding making a fool of themselves. by carrying out safety behaviours This can include not looking. people in the eye so as not to draw attention to themselves sitting. down holding on to something staying close to someone they. know talking slowly and deliberately keeping busy moving quickly. from conversation to conversation, In summary People who experience social anxiety fear that other. people will think badly of them and believe that they are not as. good as others This makes social situations very difficult or. impossible for them,What causes social anxiety, Social anxiety is something that very many people experience in a. mild form but some people find themselves more seriously affected. by it It is not a sign of any more serious physical or mental illness. but can be extremely distressing,It is often related to. low self esteem or a poor opinion of yourself, which may have begun in childhood Some people seem to be.
naturally more anxious and have learned to worry Others may have. had stressful life events that have led them to feel like this. What keeps social anxiety,Sometimes people feel socially. anxious when they are young but,become more confident as they get. older For other people it can just go,on and on and become a life long. problem There can be a number of,reasons for this,1 If someone has an anxious. personality they will be in the habit of,feeling anxious and will have long.
term beliefs that they are no good in,social situations. 2 Avoidance of social situations, keeps the person from becoming more used to social occasions. This stops them from learning that they can cope and feel fine If a. situation is avoided it feels even more difficult the next time they try. and go into it Sometimes people have safety behaviours that. don t let them learn that they can cope For example always. sticking with a friend, 3 The person with social anxiety often holds an unpleasant. image of how they look to others in their mind When mixing with. others the anxiety tends to make them focus on themselves more. They think of this image feel anxious and believe that they look. terrible to others They rarely look to see how the other person. is really responding to them They make negative guesses about. what the other person is thinking and therefore never challenge. their negative unpleasant image of themselves, 4 Fear of fear will sometimes take over so that the person will. predict that they will be anxious in certain situations and expect. certain symptoms I know I will go bright red when I speak I. won t be able to get my words out or what if people notice my. hands shaking, These thoughts increase anxiety even before they go into the feared.
4 A vicious circle of social anxiety can begin which will look. something like this,Long held beliefs Strengthen,about being no negative. good in social beliefs,situations I,poor mixer I m. Strengthen boring,negative Avoid,beliefs situations. I can t make,Before the it,Negative Negative automatic. thoughts thoughts,I looked stupid I,m not going,t cope to cope.
After social,events Physical,Social symptoms,Anxiety dry throat etc. Safety behaviours,eg avoids eye During,contact keeps social. busy sits in a situations,Increased physical Focus on self. symptoms eg I,m looking stupid,sweating tense I,m sweating. In summary social anxiety is linked to low self esteem and. continues because people hold long term beliefs that they are no. good in social situations These beliefs are never challenged. because of avoidance safety behaviours and self focusing when. faced with social situations,How can I help myself to overcome social anxiety.
There are a number of ways that you can begin to help yourself to. overcome anxiety The approaches we will be using will be under. the following headings,Understanding social anxiety. Negative beliefs and images in social anxiety,Self processing reducing your focus on yourself. Tackling avoidance and safety behaviours,Tackling the physical symptoms of social anxiety. Understanding social,i You may already by now have. some ideas about what is causing,your social anxiety In order to.
understand it even better it may,help you to try the following. Think back to number of actual,occasions that you found difficult. over the last month then try and understand in more detail what was. It may help to try and draw out your own vicious cycle of social. anxiety think of a recent social situation you found difficult. My long held beliefs,My negative automatic,After a social event my. thoughts before a social,negative thoughts are,situation are. My avoidance or safety My physical symptoms,behaviours are are.
Self Focus,The negative picture of,myself which I hold in. my mind is, ii If you can t get a clear picture of your difficulties by thinking. back then it may help to keep a social anxiety diary For one or. two weeks keep a diary of when you feel anxious and what was. going on at the time Keep a note each time of thoughts physical. symptoms avoidance or safety behaviours what you did and. what your thoughts were afterwards, Once you have a much clearer view of your own problems then you. can begin to tackle the various parts of it and break the vicious. circle of anxiety,How can I reduce my negative thoughts beliefs and. We have seen the role that thoughts have in keeping going the. vicious circle of social anxiety Thoughts can be words or they can. be pictures in your mind The following examples may help you to. identify your own thoughts and pictures,Negative Automatic Thoughts Picture.
I don t know what to say Image of self as small,people will think that I m mousy creature. Everyone will look at me when Image of self looking. I walk in and I will shake wobbly and others,I will stammer and not find. my words Image of self flushed,and sweating look of pity on. I sounded really pathetic faces of others,when I asked a question. Image of self with high,squeaky voice others,looking strong and calm.
It may help to write down your own negative thoughts and images. Once you know what they are you can Once you know what they. are you can begin to fight back and break the vicious circle. In particular ask yourself if you are making the following. thinking errors,1 Am I mind reading eg he she thinks I. In this case you don t tend to find out or look to see what the. other person really thinks You believe your own negative views. and blame it on them eg he doesn t like me This is a very. common problem for socially anxious people who assume their. own negative view of themselves is also held by others. 2 Am I fortune telling or catastrophising eg it,s going to be a. disaster everyone will be laughing at me, 3 Am I personalising this eg they are all laughing they must. be talking about me or he looks tense its probably because he. thinks he s got to sit with me, 4 Am I focusing only on the bad things eg I really clammed. up when I tried to speak to,Jane ignoring that you had.
been able to speak easily to,other people that day. These thinking errors mean that,you don t view yourself in social. situations in a fair way It may,help to begin to try and answer. back to find a fairer picture of,what is happening A good. way of doing this is to write,two columns one for your.
thoughts that make you anxious,and the other for a fairer more. balanced thought eg,Anxious Thought Balanced thought. t kept quiet I would People would not have thought. have said something stupid I was odd friends have said I. and people would have thought always sound so sensible I just. I was odd expect people to be negative,I just gabbled away all the Balanced Thoughts. time I must look like an idiot No one seemed bothered by. this People come over to talk I,can t be that bad, Write down some of your thoughts now and write as many answers. or balanced thoughts as you can Look out for thinking errors This. question might also help what would you say to a friend who was. thinking that way, The aim is to get faster at catching these anxious thoughts and.
answering back almost instantly It takes a lot of practice but really. Anxious Thought Balanced Thought, How can I stop thinking that everyone is looking at. Research has shown that people with social anxiety tend to show an. increase in, self processing in situations where they feel anxious. This means that, They concentrate a lot on their own body especially looking for. the symptoms of anxiety eg shaking sweating red face. Shyness and Social Anxiety A Self Help Guide 1 I dread going to places where I may have to talk to people Before I set off I just think I m going to do or say something stupid and that people will think I m an idiot No one else seems to be like this and I really feel there is something wrong with me The only way I can face people is if my girlfriend is with me It s not fair

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