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willingness is saying yes to the mystery of being alive in. each moment It bows in some kind of reverence to the. wonder of life itself,Gerald May,Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Handbook. Table of Contents,I Opening Material,Skills Poem 5. Group Guidelines 6,Dialectics 7,Validation 10,II Core Mindfulness 13. States of Mind 14,What Skills 15,How Skills 16,Observing and Describing Thoughts HW 17. Noticing and Managing Judgment HW 18,III Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills 19.
Goals of Interpersonal Effectiveness 20,DEARMAN Skills 21. DEARMAN Worksheet HW 23,GIVE Skills 24,FAST Skills 25. Goals and Priorities HW 26, Factors in Reducing Interpersonal Effectiveness 27. Myths about Interpersonal Effectiveness 28,Self Encouragement 29. Observing and Describing Interpersonal Situations HW 30. Expressing Emotions Effectively HW 31,Guidelines for Sharing and Listening 32.
Extra Skills for Solving Conflicts with Others 33,Choices about Intensity 34. Interpersonal Effectiveness Practice HW 36,IV Emotion Regulation Skills 38. Why learn these skills 39,Healthy Perspectives on Emotion 40. About Emotions 41,How ALL Emotions Help Us 42,Our Unique Responses 43. Knowing the Difference HW 44,Naming Emotions HW 45.
Emotion Regulation Skills Continued,The Way Emotions Work 46. Myths We Live By HW 47,Strength Building Self Statements 48. Observing and Describing Emotions HW 49,Reducing Vulnerability Stay STRONG 51. Suggestions for Good Sleep 52,My Plan for Staying out of Emotion Mind HW 53. Mastering My World HW 54,Steps for Increasing Positive Experiences 55.
Pleasant Events List 56,Letting Go of Emotional Suffering 57. Changing Emotions Opposite to Emotion Action 58,Opposite to Emotion Action Worksheet HW 59. V Distress Tolerance Skills 60,Crisis Survival Strategies 61. Self Soothe with the 5 Senses 62,Improve the Moment 63. Thinking of Pros and Cons 64,Pros and Cons Worksheet HW 65.
Urge Management 66,Observing Your Breathe Exercises 67. Half Smiling Exercises 68,Awareness Exercises 70,Radical Acceptance 71. Reality Acceptance Worksheet HW 72,Willingness 73,Finding Willingness Worksheet 74. Management of Obsessions 75,VI Emotions Glossary 76. Sadness 87,Other Important Emotion Words 92,VII Skills List Cheat Sheet 93.
The wind whistles,in the bamboo,and the bamboo dances. When the wind stops,the bamboo grows still,A silver bird. flies over the autumn lake,When it has passed,the lake s surface does not try. to hold on to the image of the bird,Vietnamese Dhyana Master Huong Hai. Group Guidelines, 1 Keep information that comes up in group private to the.
2 If you are going to be late or miss group please let a group. leader know ahead of time, 3 Limit napping to times outside of group Maintain. responsibility for keeping yourself awake during group. 4 If you ask a peer to help with skills coaching be open to their. 5 If a peer needs more help than you can offer encourage them. to talk to a staff member, 6 Treat other group members with the same courtesy that you. would like to receive, 7 Keep trauma related information and self harm experience to. yourself and do not share this with other patients either in. group or outside of group, 8 Strive to be non judgmental about what other group members. say Find something that you agree with in what they say. even if there s part of it that you disagree with, Verbal or physical attacks on other clients will not be tolerated in.
group Please use your skills to manage angry urges or ask for. coaching from the group leader Anyone who violates this rule. will be ask to leave group for that day and will receive the. relevant consequences,Dialectical,Open mind thinking. Dialectical means that 2 ideas can both be true at the same time. There is always more than one TRUE way to see a situation and more. than one TRUE opinion idea thought or dream, Two things that seem like or are opposites can both be true. All people have something unique different and worthy to teach us. A life worth living has both comfortable and uncomfortable aspects. happiness AND sadness anger AND peace hope AND,discouragement fear AND ease etc. All points of view have both TRUE and FALSE within them. You are right AND the other person is right, You are doing the best that you can AND you need to try harder do better. and be more motivated to change, You can take care of yourself AND you need help and support from others.
Being dialectical means,Letting go of self righteous indignation. Letting go of black and white all or nothing ways of seeing a. Looking for what is left out of your understanding of a situation. Finding a way to validate the other person s point of view. Expanding your way of seeing things,Getting unstuck from standoffs and conflicts. Being more flexible and approachable,Avoiding assumptions and blaming. Guidelines for Dialectical Thinking, Move away from either or thinking to BOTH AND thinking. Avoid extreme words always never you make me, Instead of saying Everyone always treats me unfairly say.
Sometimes I am treated fairly AND at other times I am treated. Practice looking at ALL sides of a situation points of view. Find the kernel of truth in every side, Remember NO ONE owns the truth Be open and willing. If you feel indignant or outraged you are NOT being dialectical. Use I feel statements instead of You are statements. Accept that different opinions can be legitimate even if you do not agree with them. I can see your point of view even though I do not agree with it. assume that you know what others are thinking check it out. What did you mean when you said, expect others to know what you are thinking be clear. What I m trying to say is,Dialectics Homework Sheet. Circle the letter in front of the dialectical statement for each group of. 1 a It s hopeless Why even try I give up,b My problems are gone this is easy. c This is hard for me and I m going to keep working at it. 2 a I m totally right about this it s the truth, b I m stupid Everyone else is always right about things.
c Well I can see it this way and you see it that way. 3 a Everyone is always unfair to me, b In some situations I feel that I m not being treated fairly. c Everyone is always fair to me, 4 a People should listen to me whenever I need to talk. b I should be able to handle my own problems without bothering. other people, c Sometimes I need someone to listen to me When they can t. it s frustrating, 5 a It s my parent s fault that I have these problems so I. shouldn t have to work so hard to solve them,b All of my problems are my own fault.
c I may not have caused all of my own problems but I need to. solve them anyway, 6 a Other people always hurt me so I don t trust anyone. b I trust some people and I find it very difficult to trust others. c If I were healthy I would be able to trust everyone. 7 a I hate you for doing what you did I am done being your. b It shouldn t be any big deal if other people hurt me. c You really hurt my feelings and we will have to work it out. Validation,What is it, What is validation It means telling someone that what they feel think believe and. experience is real logical understandable, Self validation is when you are able to quietly reassure yourself that what you feel. inside is real is important and makes sense, Emotions thoughts and sensations are all experiences that we sometimes doubt in. ourselves We ask ourselves,DO I really feel this, SHOULD I feel this way Is it the right thing to feel even if it.
inconveniences someone else, We may look around us and try to guess what other people in the same situation feel. or what others EXPECT us to feel This happens because we have been told at some. point that we should not trust what our inner experience tells us We actually trust. other people MORE than ourselves, Sometimes when we self invalidate we spend a lot of time and energy trying to prove. to others and ourselves that our experience is real and makes sense This often results. in conflict or crisis,In DBT we are learning to validate others because. it helps our relationships go better, it calms intense situations so that we can problem solve. We learn to Self Validate because, it quiets defensive fearful emotions so we can problem solve.
it allows us to let go of the pain and exhaustion that constant. self justification and self doubt requires,Validation improves the quality of our lives. Validation,How to do it, Validation does NOT mean that you AGREE or APPROVE of behavior. In fact validation is non judgmental,Validation Strategies. 1 Focus on the inherent worth of the person whether it is yourself or. someone else, 2 Observe Listen carefully to what is said with words expression and body. Intently listen be one mindful in the moment, If you are self validating honor your experience by sitting quietly with it.
knowing it for at least a few moments, If you are validating someone else use good eye contact nod be one mindful in. your focus on them, 3 Describe Non judgmentally state the facts of the situation. 4 State the unstated Note the presence of feelings beliefs etc that have not. been voiced You seem to feel angry but also hurt by what that person said. If validating yourself identify primary emotions If anger is obvious explore your. feelings of any shame hurt or disappointment that may be hiding beneath. 5 Find what is true valid about the experience and note this Without feeling. that you have to agree or approve of the experience find a piece of it that. makes perfect sense and validate this, If validating yourself perhaps you realize that the thoughts you are having are. irrational however validate that they exist and are powerful in the moment. If validating someone else even if you disagree with their behavior find something. that you can empathize with When you get that angry you want to strike out at. VALIDATION PRACTICE, After reading each situation circle all of the responses that are VALIDATING. Some of the responses may be skillful but not validating Remember to focus on. reassuring self other that their experience is real important and or makes sense. Circle all of the validating responses for each question. 1 A friend has just thrown a chair down the hallway because a peer refused to let. them use the phone They have received a Major Infraction and are very angry They. are talking to you,a You listen nodding, b You ignore them because you don t want to give them attention for bad.
c You state You were really frustrated weren t you. d You say You re right She never lets anyone else use the phone. 2 A peer is having a lot of with symptoms lately He is getting into trouble with. staff breaking rules He asks you to lie for him so that he can stay out of further. a You say You re really worried about being in trouble and I. can understand that but I can t lie and get into trouble too. Let s find another solution,b You immediately go tell staff on him. c You try to avoid him When he approaches you you say I can t talk right. now I have to do my laundry, d You say You want me to tell staff that you were with me and that you. didn t do what they say you did, 3 You are feeling a lot of irritation and you don t know why You snap at a peer. who has done nothing wrong, a You tell yourself I m always irritable and drive people away. b You force yourself to behave more patiently with others than you actually. feel for the rest of the day, c You talk to a friend and tell them I just snapped at someone and I don t.
know why I m irritable and confused,d You ask for a PRN. Core Mindfulness,Taking Control,of Your Attention and Thoughts. States of Mind,Reasonable Emotion,Core Mindfulness Skills WHAT Skills. Take hold of your mind,Be curious about what you feel. Just notice how you feel without trying to make feelings stronger or. weaker go away or last longer,See how long your feeling lasts and if it changes.
Notice how feelings flow in and out of your body like waves. What comes through your senses Touch smell sight sound taste. Be like a non stick pan letting things slide off of your body and your. Use words to describe your experience, Use fact words call a thought just a thought call a feeling just a. Use words that everyone would agree with, Don t paint a colorful picture with words or magnify a situation with. words Try to avoid emotional words, Try to let go of your emotions about being right or about someone. else being wrong while searching for words to describe. Participate,Get lost in an activity, Let go of your sense of time while you are doing something. Allow yourself to be natural in the situation, Practice your skills until they become a part of you.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Handbook Fulton State Hospital January 2004 Adapted for use from Linehan M M 1993 Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder New York Guilford Press 2 willingness is saying yes to the mystery of being alive in each moment It bows in some kind of reverence to the wonder of life itself Gerald May 3 Dialectical

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